Why is my life so tough

I have been feeling down. Sat and Sun went chalet. Supposed to be a very happy occasion but more and more facts I have to face and then I wish I can put him down but I can't yet. I am making myself and my bf unhappy. My heart hurts, how can anyone put down someone so fast? Only 6 months only, if really so fast can only means that I did not really love him at all.

Today my exec spoke with me again. They are confirmed not going to renew my contract. My last day of service would be 7 May. My God, I have not found a job and so fast my contract is ending. I am going to be jobless soon. Who will support me? Who will give me a job that I love as much as this one.

Early this year, I went to fortune teller and he claims my life is going upwards. He claims career and everything is very good. Only have to watch my spenting and health. But what type of this upwards am I encounting now. Nothing but the sadness and badness of life.

Sad sad tweet

The last blog was full of nice things and beautiful memories. Now everything is going downhill and my mood is in the dumps. Recently my dear (don't know still can call that or not) and I have been having problems. We have talked and still stayed together. Just that Tuesday I spoke to him again. Now he is saying things like we dragged very long le. Just when I want to work things out he started saying this type of things. He give me the feeling of good times can be together but bad times and stress times he want to run away. Then can this type of guy become someone's husband. I don't know. He seems to be always using excuses like I am me, can't change or I have not enough time for you to escape from the problems. I dislike it but I love him. I want things to work out!!

Somemore Monday my executive just told me that my contract with current company will not be renewed. I gotta start looking for a job le. I am so depressed. I love my work here..

Want to find ppl to accompany me cos I am down but can't find. Pls take a knife and kill me!