Officially can brand useless

Y the stupid title above?? Cos my company (or should I say ex-company) just decided not to renew my contract. So, you can say I lost my job. Many ppl will say, nothing what, find another job lah. You don't like this job anyway, not end of the world.... But hor, for me so so so upsetting. This is the last chance I gave myself for jobs and I failed again. Stupid illness, Stupid medicine, can I blame everything on them?

So now useless lying around again. What is my next step? I don't know. Before this I always thought if I failed this time round I will give up full-time job for the time being and find a part-time job but now I feel... sucks..lost in translation.

Those that knows me well will know what I am talking about above, if you don't, well you don't know me well enough. I am so bad today..scolding ppl??? Now don't start calling me, I need time. Give me that, that's what I have more then enough of now.

My agency call me a "perfectionist" in work. Yah, I have very very high expectation of myself from work. No boss complains in past, except for mc but recent few... Dr told me not medicine but seen another dr few weeks ago and told me yah, med slows down my brain activity making me forgetful, slow to response, etc. Anyway, I HATE medicine... I still hope and wish to get off all of them by end of this year.. pray...